Stream of Consciousness originally
from the Crispian Mills Message
Board On to SOC Vol. 2 YNYS: The river holds the beginning in her belly
and the end in her mouth. What a sad thought, that every mother should brave her
son’s lifetime apart from him, though she is inevitably his home and refuge.
He is born, he falls in love, and he goes to war, and is thrown away. She knows
what his worth is, what a delusion, marriage, eh sister? How dare any of you say
you could possibly love each other more than I could?
All right guys (Jamie, Valkyrie), no more holding
back on us/you talk or, I'm going to cry/don't make me wet my pants/Golden
Avatar knows I will.
KARLA: I vow to always be faithful. Valkyrie: And One Man Stands. And This Man Looks.
And That Man Waits. TIME has run out today.
GLDN74: I thought I'd seen it all, but in the
dark recesses of my mind, or was it in the dark recesses of the waterfront night
club, I thought I saw the fair maiden from afar. Could it be, that she'd smiled
for the camera, taken her bounty and joined me in this hot place? Well, just
like the justice that I seek daily, it was just an illusion. Thank you Rigo,
thank you, Red Bull, thank you, throat churning cigarettes, you all contributed
to visualizing the dream. Boy, do I feel empty now.
So, what do I do next, where do I go from here.
Only a physical presence will stop the illusions appearing more often, but how
soon is maybe? For once OASIS were right. Definitely maybe? Yes Liam, I think
you spoke the truth.
I fall slowly to earth again, but my head reminds
me that an evening and early morning of excess has taken place, without the
consent of my soul, or my bank manager. By dawns early light, my partner in
crime has saddled up his trusty steed and returned to the West Coast. He tells
me to take care, but I often wonder if this will be the last time that I will
see him, wondering if it will be me who reads his epitaph, wondering how I can
tell my wife that our mutual friend has pushed the envelope just a little
further than God intended. Godspeed Mickey, but keep that speed somewhere near
the national limit. I wonder what sort of state the office will be in, 24 hours
is a long time in engineering, but not as long as a 30 second illusion in a
club... Or was it real? You decide.
Jamie: Writing something here is always going to
be difficult! Being too self expressive is something I’m always afraid of,
it’s only when I play my precious guitar do I really let myself go, anyone
feel like this? Is it in music? Art? Whatever? Thought I wasn’t the only one!
Sharing it isn’t about personal gain, it’s about personal freedom, which is
why we should never underestimate the power of the arts, after all, 'it’s the
feeling inside', isn’t it?
YNYS: What are you to this world if you hide
yourself away? Why be selfish with what you have inside you? I try to paint my
people in the same state of mind as when I see the people around me. Life
becomes an unending crescendo of emotions and laughing and trying. Free yourself
and you will be appreciated by those who do the same.
GOVINDA: Where I was yesterday when I dreamed so
much that I could hardly open my eyes? Where was I, oh dear God? Where are you
right now? I’m searching answers in this road, too many questions are in the
wind. Where is the holy truth? Where is my God? Where is my faith? Where is my
soul? I feel this infinite ocean around me, so deep, so blue, I’m so full of
love that I don’t know who to love.... This foggy dream is in my mind, this
crappy reality is in my life...
GLDN74: Well that was interesting to say the
least... The maiden finishes the film and returns the
skinny one to the basement, for the mixing desk is calling to them both. I just
sit there, rejected in favor of the one known as 'Dodge'. How the hell do I
explain this one to the guys back home? I'm not worried about the naked stuff,
just worried that I've been seen in a BMW.
Fortunately, the maiden has a film of her own,
but it's a secret that belongs to someone called Victoria. Suddenly, I feel
used, cheap and dirty. But hey, I'm a man, I'm not supposed to be bothered. But
am I? I know I'm cold and I can't find my clothes in the dark. Where's Mulder n'
Scully when you need em'?
ELENWEN: I have been staring at the sun for
hours and hours. Now I'm blind. I can feel the rain, but I can't see it. Now I
realize I love the rain. I thought the Sun was the One. But there are more things
to see, to feel, to love. Now it doesn't rain. I can't even feel the warm sunbeams
over me. I know this is the end... and I still can't see the Sun, You.
Pitry: You don't know what you're looking for,
not anymore. MysticalK: If everything around me GLDN74: How much of you is reflected in me, is a
question I cannot answer. I take solace in our friendship, we're not yet at
'match point', well I'll serve a few aces if no one minds. I may not be 'sampras',
I may not be 'rafter', but I'll always be here for you, see my light shine.
JEDI: Magi dances in a circle of sound that flows
through conflict, confusion and change. A warm orange glow fills the soul you've
grown fond of. Don't let this love slip away. Sing, smile, and enjoy the moment
that has taken you so enchantingly.
GLDN74: I'm really lost for the words that I know
should be coming quickly now, believe me. Only the pain in my soul matches the
pain in my fingertips. 25 years has been worth it, 'Are you glad to see how far
you've come?' the skinny blonde asks me from the depths of the ICE. Well, to
tell the truth mate, I've come further in the last three months than I've come
in the last ten years. I'm more open and honest than I've ever been and I
understand the whole Kula music phenomenon on a level that the corporate whores
in the office just laugh at. As for the nicotine junkie, singing for a Kodacam,
I know a girl who's stood in front of a Kodacam right now, just to earn enough
cash to realize her dream. Shame that SONY couldn't pay for the flight and save
her blushes. I know it's all going to be worth it in the end. My bass gently
weeps as I wait for the day when we can drop the virtual reality and have a real
hug.
Every time I see an open topped bus, I think of
some crazy guys singing 'Hey Dude'. My earliest Kula memory is something that
the corporate whores will never take away from me. They tried to make me one of
them, but I resisted. 'Read what it says on my armor' I scream at the robot in
the corner office. 'Made in England, property of Kula Shaker, do not expose to
naked flame, lies or hypocrisy'.
Well, they've been warned. Can I swap my M.O.D.
security card for an access all areas badge? Can I swap my life for one 'less
ordinary'? Why don't I just concentrate on the music, it's the only thing
keeping me from insanity. The job is just a means to an end, my future lies on
this board, the new album will light the path that I must take, I hope it's not
covered in road works though.
Christ! Why does it have to be this hard, why
does no one understand. I'm 25, but on the inside I'm still 17. Here's to the
community, here's to Crispian, and here’s to your dreams. Now pass me another
cliche, this one's knackered. While you’re at it, I'll have another Red Bull,
the dreams of music and far away maidens are much more intense on board.
If you're wondering princess, this knight will do
the shoot with the skinny one, just swap the BMW for a 'Benz on the 303. As long
as my moustache is hairy enough by then. I love you all, you've given me
strength, now take me down, six undergrounds, but not for at least another
hundred years.
MMQ: Alone in mind, but yet surrounded by a
laughing crowd. Valkyrie: And a Man finds himself not quite
alone. It seems that others are around him. Waiting to see what his next move
will be. None said it would be easy. This Man knew that much. Nothing worth
having is easy and what he would have is nothing short if his dreams come true.
And it seems to be happening. Suddenly, during the last day, he has found other
players. Other people with similar dreams. This Man now knows that he has not
been wasting his time. Time is of the essence. There are people out there.
People waiting for him to deliver. And deliver this Man will. He will deliver
song. He will deliver words. He will deliver melody. He will bare his Heart and
his Soul. People will in turn share their true selves, and no, there is no need
to fear. They are merely people just as this Man is a person. Do we all not long
for song? And deliver this Man will. They wish for something stirring, something
moving. This Man knows this. This Man wishes for the same thing. But he has been
moved over the years to become one who delivers song. He would be a jump point
for the sharing of energy from one human being to the next. And deliver this Man
will a jump point not soon to be forgotten by those who experience it. We will
allow for the sound to lift our spirits and to heighten our awareness of the
World around us. Love. Spirituality. Conflict. These are this Man's themes. Oh,
Glory. Oh, the Concepts this Man has in store for you all. Wonderful. And a Man
stands ready to be seen - begging to be heard. They must wait while this Artist
lies in the wings. But those who will play with him have yet to reveal
themselves. Patience, O Man. You too must wait. Just a little longer. The Stage
is being set. But no more of these revealing words. TIME has run out today.
TSSITS: Months pass by, pity has passed from
minds. No longer is it the words on ME: I hear voices, they’re all laughing at me. The voices claim to be Could you believe So forgive me for the way I’ve been. Umm, if Con knew that I posted it here, maybe one
day you would listen it on the radio XD…
GLDN74: The skinny blonde denies our existence.
What's going on? Has all we've worked for been a complete waste of time? Well,
I'm sorry mate, but this is our creation, we do not apologize for it and we do
not deny it. Use it, plagiarize it, laugh at it or weep at its honesty, but
never turn your back on it.
Ok, so you asked for a collage and got a stream,
but surely water is more fluid than a few bits of paper stuck to some card. Look
deep into this and you'll find that the stream can never be greater than the sum
totals of its parts, those parts are human. They crave attention, they crave
knowledge and they crave something more than a multi-cast e-mail.
We'll stay in contact, but will you?
MysticalK: My past, as I look at it, GLDN74: Who am I to tell the truth from the lies? Pitry: Is this whole wide world alive? YNYS: 'And what if I turned into a big, big
wave?' 'Then I would become the wind and Pitry: I was told that the mystery was gone, but
the questions keep on coming on, Nothing is real, nothing is real, nothing ever
was real, but it's okay coz there's no other way.
KARLA: Boris will croak and the guns will smoke. Pitry: A story was told, ages ago. No one
listened...no one cared...such stories have their own amazing journey to go.
A path walked in, for so many years, abandoned in
the light of a new one, and no one can tell, if that new path is any better, or
worse. Someone spoke of roads, roads that are not taken, but no one can really
tell whether the same road leads to the same place, always. A butterfly, flying
alone, flying away, flying today. Lonely, not afraid, for its path is unknown,
as well.
Reading is quite easy, when all the books are
given to you...someone said this once. "giving is so easy when you get it all
back". All of the knowledge of the world is here, given back. Who will take
it?
It‘s like, you wake up one day, and you know
you got nothing to do about the way the world is going, and the day freedom is
lost is just a bit closer with a white envelope you accidentally already took
out today coz you sent a birthday card to a friend. With some tapes, some tapes
that once meant freedom as well, and still do, but the story is no longer being
told. It's quite hilarious, the world. I have to walk the dog.
GLDN74: As the hours go past, new members arrive, JAMIE: 'Everything that goes around comes back
around!'
Saturn5: People need what they want and don’t
want what they need, they don’t realize they have nothing, how can they say
"We got all the peace and love w/ the Beatles, so they know it’s there,
refuse at point blank, for so many who worked to change the world, and have been
forgotten, this is what an apocalypse is, a forgotten age of love, may we awake
someday, at the dawn of another meaning, in the house of the rising sun.
GLDN74: I thought the honesty was already
present. KARLA (I was in a weird mood...hahah): You're
attracted to the people you hate. YNYS: Could you speak a little louder, I can't
seem to make it out, when did it get this far? I never let it get this
bad...would you please sit down? No, of course not, you'd like to stay towering
over everyone...just you wait, it will happen and you'll be looking as much a
fool as the rest of us who are searching for a good place to rest..."take
your time, it won't be long now/till you drag your feet to slow the circles
down"
GLDN74: She sleeps the sleep of the just, Jedi: Mice were scratching at the crystallized
fingers of fate. GLDN74: (Ripping off 'Men in Black') Dandie: Now this has been, the most amazing time
of my life. YNYS: Why don't I give it all up? I am so close
now, just a few less foods, perhaps a few more prayers? It feels so good to be
alone and it feels so much stronger because the paintings happen without any
trying...I believe I'm already here
GLDN74: If you give up now, I'll still be sat
here, looking back, on the track, for a little green bag. The paintings will
still happen, it's just a case of balancing the obvious, your future in reality
and your future in virtuosity. Rise above the darkness and dance in the light,
for here, your friends will support your work. No matter how long it takes, no
matter how many favors we have to call in, England will get a new resident, just
leave booger at home, coz I’m feeling hungry.
ELENWEN: Crispian, if you read the messages,
please post something! YNYS: What a little voice...c'est vrais (it is
true)...what a dream it was...necessus estne (is it necessary) to seize your
voice when the breeze lifts your hair ici et la-bas (here and there, lit.)...si
(yes), comme (as) una carta roja (a red letter), en multas linguas escribir (to
write in many languages)...mu-jhe af-sos hai (I'm sorry), ha-maa-raa in-te-zaar
kee-ji-ye! (wait for us!)
KARLA: It haunts me like a ghost, GLDN74: Now I show my true colors, I hate him for making me feel this way, Someone please draw the line here, Oh master of puppets, cut my strings, Love and Hate have become one. Join me, fight alongside me, not against me, but
always two steps behind and two steps in front. You are both ends of the
spectrum; I'll be in between.
Ah, now I understand, now I know why you want to
hate me. Don't make me come down to your level again. JEDI: A silver crystal covered in coal, How can something seem so dead and cold to
someone, yet hold such life for another. Full of emotions to be broken, or
pulled foreword, crushed, fulfilled...
How can such a powerful feeling of life and love,
hold apathy for anyone?
ELENWEN: After all your efforts, read in the leaves of the big trees everything ascends; DOOF: Floating down the stream, YNYS: Quand you release and live, you find
yourself feeling lost and completely on center. In the few times, I feel my
impatience setting in (tapping feet yet yearn to travel) someone tells me
"you listen well" and I breathe out again. "...at times one lives
life so intensely that tears come into the eyes"
GOVINDA: Oh I wish I could see the sky, YNYS: Gordon is the name of mine enemy, armed wi'
60 mph winds and his eye directly on me. As for me tomorrow and you all may find
me a grave woman! My house is not so wide as a church hall, 'tis not enough, not
enough. If tomorrow you watch the (international) weather report, I may be
gone...or just a little soggy. The sunsets were worth the danger! Storms do
teach us all to live each day as if there wouldn't be a next! Though I live
through many, I do not become accustomed, not at all. (poetic exit)
GLDN74: Just another day, I convince myself, My VCR runs on into the night, I learn more than
I could ever imagine. I feel every note, every riff, every one of the
98 decibels from the dol. I feel a change, back to who I've always been,
the real man who the corporate machines No more will I be their puppet, no more will I
fall into the master plan. I've torn myself up because I didn't see them
live, even when they where on my own doorstep. They say 'you never know what you
got, 'til they take it away'. I've tried my hardest to make up for the loss,
surrounded myself with a multimedia I try to live up to my assumed name, I try to be
the avatar for all people. Supporting me Accusations of being a 13 year old psycho fan,
when all I'm trying to do is build bridges. A slap in the face and a kick in the
ribs for daring to do what few others have wished they'd tried. And then come
the ones who wish me all the best. Are they genuine or are they just hoping I'll
remember their kind words when the day comes to choose the inner circle. My
responsibilities are wider and deeper than ever I can begin to understand, yet
the little I understand allows my work to continue. Even if I'm stood on the
outside, looking in, while the ones who hold the knowledge I crave, look down on
me, like I'm something they dragged in on their expensive shoes. I won't be
broken, I'll be patient. I have to be, I'm the link between the real world and
the floating palace. It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it.
YNYS: I painted an angel yesterday/ I listened to
Johnny Marr today/I was up late last night painting a rain forest goddess/It's
always a gamble where I'll end up and what I'll be hearing, but it is how I live
this life. Que escribo en un rincon, only the writer knows!
Stian: My beautiful friend, Can you tell that I'm in love? How can this be true? I shouldn't feel this way. I shouldn't feel this way. I don't want to reach the end, Jedi: Filthy little towns and filthy little
people, and all you can say is "I love it in this dreadful place."
Watch your step. The ground is covered with obscene gestures, and poisonous
snakes. All I can make, in light of your darkness, is that you try far too hard
to make it worse off for the smog. It shows, like a moderately sized splatter of
orange paint in a blue sky. It shows, and I smile at the naiveté you own. I
smile at your constant belief that the world is round, and that the sun will
rise in the morning, reasoning with the seasons won't make them change. And so,
I surprise myself by humming a merry little tune and continuing on my way, out
of this filthy little town, and away from these filthy little people. You tell
me that you love it in this dreadful place? 'jimmy crack corn, and I don't care'
and again, I must smile.
YNYS: I've heard that you can find yourself and
lose yourself in every living thing. I suppose the words 'lose' and 'find' are
appropriate. It *is* both frightening and rewarding. Yet the hardest part would
have to be saying 'yes, I give this to You, all my most secret thoughts and most
selfish actions are Yours to take away and burn. I *want* to break the
containers and I want what's inside them to be lost forever'. The possibilities
in life are endless, child, and that's what holds you down!
You know, I find myself thinking more clearly
lately...just like (what seems to be) all those years ago.
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I vow to be there in sickness and in health.
I vow to love for richer or poorer.
I vow to sit here and listen to this boring priest.
I vow to pay my debt for this lavish and useless dress.
I vow to hire somebody to clean up the party after everything is said and done.
I vow to kill my husband if he betrays my love.
I vow to be a good wife, even if it kills me.
I vow to have 10 Christian children.
I vow to grow old and gray with my loved one no matter what.
I vow to sit here and follow each marriage vow word by word.
I vow to cry at my own daughter’s wedding day.
I vow to die a happy wife.
Two naked guys in a BMW wondering how the hell they got there.
Don't worry guys, it's art for art's sake, she tells us, with a wry smile on her
face.
Yes mate, I'm sure it is. Exactly how many people are going to see this anyway?
Then the skinny blonde says 'Excuse me love, can I go and finish my album now?'
You hide from the sun, but are you sure?
You've been running all your life from the safe stream,
From safety up ahead, found refuge in a dream.
And there's nothing left to do,
There's nothing left to say.
All you can do is follow the rain, the sun, the stars.
Follow them their own way.
Do you belong? Do you feel the same?
Do you wish for it to be the same?
Don't you want to look back behind, to see it all over again?
Or are you scared, scared of the dark,
Scared of a long awaited message that's the mark
You've been waiting for all those years.
are just my own thoughts,
Where am I?
Where's the reality?
Where's the world I've been searching for?
Too much of me wants to become one with you, yes I'm biased if you'll take the
chance now.
I look to the stars for guidance and truth, but the clouds fill the sky once
more.
My soul is rock solid and my patience elastic, I know our love's been here
before.
Driving the cliff tops, in dawn's early light, the road winds on into our
future.
The summer town approaches, GPS says 'Tampa' but I know that I'm still nowhere
near you.
I choke in fake smiles from the people who pretend to care. People,
who pretend to listen, pretend to be there for me. The "caring"
second hand expression in their faces, when I come to them with
my deepest thoughts, tells me that it's just a mask they are
wearing...do I wear such masks myself? or does my face show? Am I ever myself to
the world?
We all wear masks, but only we are to decide, when or to who we'll
take them off, and show our true identity...consciousness scares me!
everyone's lips, nay, no longer are WE the words on everyone's lips. It's good
though
isn't it? Before we part, answer me but 1 question. You say you love me...so why
did you do this to me?
Then a part of my self esteem is falling away from me.
The crying of the victim I’ve ever felt
Is knocking on my mind with the tears past brings.
When I look at the mirror
I see no reflection of me.
What am I? What am I supposed to be?
Just to betray the only one who trusted in me.
Will you know that I’m not so strong.
To believe that I need breath, that I feel and I need.
And will you bring it all back to me when they hurt too much and the pain is
over?
The person I’d never reach.
All their expectations on me were tumbled down the same day I breathed.
That I wanted to live?
Could you believe
What I tried to mean?
Could you believe
What I really did?
But the pain is over now.
I was too stupid to believe the matter was on me.
My future, as you predict it
Is it weird, that I shut up?
The world, as I look at it,
The human-being, as I spit at it
Isn't it weird, that I'm still here?
Oh, everything around me, is just some simple thoughts.
It’s written down somewhere,
and that’s what I'm searching for.
Oh, please, wake me up from this mighty nightmare.
Take me to another place.
Fly me to another chase,
another place, yeah.
I ask this question of you all.
Who am I to tell virtual from reality?
C'mon now, hear my call.
Once again I'm stood in the moonlight,
My soul's reflected in the stars,
I smoke another cigarette, the shadows fall behind me,
And now the love before me is ours.
I lay my soul to bare,
I'm open to attack,
Defenseless and weak I cry,
You're the armor that I need,
To fight 108 battles,
They're for real, no just of the mind.
Once again I'm stood in the moonlight,
My soul's reflected in the stars,
I smoke another cigarette, the shadows fall behind me.
And now the love before me is ours.
I slay the hypocrites and soul thieves,
With the dawn of a new day,
Battered and torn I return to your arms,
Your love heals all wounds,
Testament to a battling soul,
Your soul surrounds me with calm.
Once again I've stood in the moonlight,
My soul's reflected in the stars,
I smoke another cigarette, the shadows fall behind me,
And now the love before me is ours.
Is it just what you see inside?
Are you always so sure that you know? Can't find my way here anymore, oh,
Can't seem to know.
Must is to be asked,
what simplicity could do?
For confronted in pain at dusk
You know what is true, you know it for you.
But I don't think I know
I was here a long time ago...
Absurd reality in different ways,
What does it say?
Like looking at the sky,
So deep and high,
And I don't know what I'm writing here,
And can anyone hear?
move you wherever you wanted to go' 'say I were being cooked up in a big soup?'
'Then I would come as a guest and take you home in my napkin' 'And if I were
nothing more
than a patch of dirt under everyone's feet?' 'Then I would grow as a tree and
shield you
with my roots and leaves' 'I see, but what if I disappeared without a trace?'
'Why then
I would undoubtedly find you'.
and maybe that's the cure to it all, I don't know. And I've read it over and
over again,
and I tried to understand the best way I can, The shadow of the wall lingers on.
So you try
and see, all these magical fantasies, but would it really be that hard, or is it
all just an illusion?
Bill will get thrown and the people will moan.
Many of us will run and others will die.
But none of us will eat the big piece of pie.
Human price and stakes are the same
In this intoxicating game.
But The skinny blonde still isn't here.
I dream of the studio, his lovely girl Jo,
But the message isn't getting through clear.
Fever induced visions, battle the virus in my veins,
'now the drugs don't work' is so true.
The pain in my joints, matches the pain in my soul,
Florida princess!, this means nothing without you.
Is the busted PC, just a means to an end?
Have you left us all behind in a flash?
People have asked me, where did she go?
I can only answer 'cosmetology' for cash.
I know that it's reality you honestly crave,
Into the real world you run, once more,
But we're all still here for you, particularly me,
So I'll be sure not to lock-up the door.
He told us he dressed it up in a joke.
Is this an admission of fear, or guilt?
Scared to show the real man,
So it was hidden in a jesters hat.
Don't be scared now, we'll appreciate the honesty,
just don't do a beck,
don’t do an Ashcroft,
don’t try to be a seahorse,
don’t try to be a Manson, coz they'll only disappoint us.
Above all...just do it.
There is something about that person that you hate.
So you concentrate on one thing...hate.
Right now, your focus is on hate.
Hate is stronger than love.
You can only love hate.
Softly breathing through her battling mind.
I hold her in my arms, making the most of our precious time.
Maybe I should stay awake, just to watch her in this tranquil state,
I wonder what she's thinking,
What she dreams of,
Who she dreams of,
As the light filters into our room, she turns to me and smiles,
And I know that we'll be together,
Until the end of time.
My sweetest Kerry.
No one cares of their burdens, or of the crowns that itch at their heads.
Above and below, the fires burn, unwitting for the lowly pedestrian.
They die in confusion, hiding the answers below their noses.
Have you lost your fear?
Are your lies now real?
I truly understand.
British press, do you hear us? If you ever get near us, don't jeer us, we're
fearless.
Here come the fans in black,
The Crispian Mills defenders.
And as you walk away, it shows that it can be the most romantic of places.
Your eyes reflect my life and your smile makes me cry.
Looking through the palest of skies that's trapped in between the day and the
night time,
It seems to symbolize... Oh! Never mind, Never mind.
I bounce myself away from that little bit of nerve,
That little bit of nerve it takes to say I love you.
My words stumble, experience dies, somewhere between my brain and my mouth.
And even if I could think what to say,
I wouldn't be able to say it, anyway.
Mere words just seem so irrelevant now.
And keep us stupidly happy...
or something,
say hello
or what's up
or what you're doing,
you must be bored one minute in a day.
Use that minute to write us something,
something,
something.
Hey,
we are here!
We know the album is being set up.
You know,
you must know how is it,
we don't know,
we don't.
but it's not there.
Its shadows are reflecting of the walls.
I can feel it,
then it disappears...
prepared to make a stand for what I believe in.
Is my image important to the world?
Do I care what people think of me?
Or is it just a tissue of lies, surrounding a web of hypocrisy.
I hate myself for allowing my soul to be drawn down to his level.
I love him for his honesty.
I love him for making me human.
I love the hate.
cast it stone for the world to see
I'm reading his words again, the blackness builds,
but I won't be drawn in this time,
Rising high above, this cycle of confusion (To coin a phrase),
Unless I have one last battle, one last skirmish,
He knows I'm enjoying the fight,
He knows I can't get enough of it,
He's breeding the hatred within me.
and you will see the irony.
You want an apology,
You want me to hate you,
You want to share my anger and blackness,
I'm selfish, I keep the blackness, it's mine.
No definition, no segregation, no black and white,
Just a swirling area of black light,
Illuminating your lies,
Grasping for a way out.
Take my hand and we'll escape together.
The love is there, I'm reaching out to it before you can lay your hands on it.
It's mine, mine, all mine.
Just ask me to meet you half-way.
shining only for those who choose to see.
This is where you may live,
This is where you can survive.
after the whole road that you have traveled,
what have you left?
The brilliant light of the sun,
the reflection of the stars in the stone,
and maybe, the noise of the sea;
that so much time have lived
and when the metal sounds
come and see me,
and I will tell you the secret
of the everlasting happiness;
everything moves;
and nothing in reality crawls;
come and see me.
Chilling out,
La La La,
My little boat is THE coolest,
I LOVE the world,
LA La La,
love love love.
As clear as I see my tears,
The nightmares I can’t deny
Behind my biggest fears.
Where are you, God, when I need you?
When I shout of the pain I’m feeling?
Where are you, Lord, when I can’t feel you?
Just another life to lead.
The package arrived from the sunshine state,
8 hours of solid Kula.
As I watch the events unfolding, I realize that to listen to the mantra is not
enough, I have to hear the message in the music, not the one from the band.
I hear the sound of drums, they urge me to burn the shirt and tie, they drive me
on as I
escape my cocoon and emerge as the real Paul Hirschfield.
Youth re-captured, conformity destroyed and cast aside.
have tried to deny for so long.
I feel the Kula ideology more and more as each second passes and it drives me on
to the ultimate goal.
That is so true, but the words offer me little comfort.
collection, the ultimate preservation of music that will always be timeless.
or not, it is their decision. My efforts as unofficial go-between are largely
un-noticed,
my work has a stealthy quality, if only they would allow me to communicate the
whole truth.
But would the truth destroy everything and raise the coming work of art to the
ground.
7 months of waiting and for what?
Do you know you make me smile?
You're the lily of the Nile.
Do you know I love your style?
You're love is versatile.
My feelings are unheard of.
Do you know you're the one I speak of?
I'll beat myself - boxing glove.
How could I love you? I feel this everyday.
I want to do you in the zoo. The zoo in Santa-Fe.
Your name I will tattoo. At any time of day.
Feel this for a friend.
You're going to go away.
And then I've reached the end.
you, my beautiful friend.