Stream of Consciousness originally
from the Crispian Mills Message
Board GLDN74: The young man watched the events
unfolding-- GLDN74: Midnight, the moon reflects off the
water, Blindly, I reach out for her, I know she's there,
but she denies me. YNYS: You can't read about life...I mean, *I*
can't just read about life, I have to live it. Once September arrives, that is.
You know...I really do tell him everything. I never felt stupid about smiling as
I walk out the door, after telling him everything. I just do.
Govinda: I may see through your eyes, the deepest
calm I've been asking for; GLDN74: Once again, I find myself past
consciousness,
about
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vol 1 vol 2 vol 3 vol 4 vol 6 vol 7 vol 8
On to SOC Vol. 5
Twelve months in the asylum, the refuge from hypocrisy.
Twelve months of uncertainty, of playing their game.
Finally, I realize, we're being played like any other target group,
A cash cow to be milked, wallets to be emptied and siphoned off.
All profits and prophets, gratefully received.
But, I don't blame the mouthpiece, the puppet to SONY's legalized slave trade.
A simple man, who just wants to do what's right, or does he?
All mouth and trousers, once said a wise man,
but no one dare repeat it, for fear of being branded.
Well, I say "Prove me wrong, prove us all wrong".
Prove that this isn't just another get rich quick scheme, prove that this is
real.
YNYS: It’s down to this. We, two, in a house of mirrors, standing at the edge,
bordering beauty, radiating sincerity. Who is writing the songs? Who is showing
up each night and giving the crowd something to cheer and jeer? Who is giving it
all away? Who is talking in low, earnest voices late at night, weekends? Who is
it that sits in the car, listening to the news?
When you hear things like that, your hand just kind of drops from the wheel.
You've been at the stoplight and your car is idling, almost silent. You could be
as dead and motionless as someone thousands of miles away. Unable to smile,
unable to blink, but able to wish you were here for your warm arms.
Cal: The thirst for fame knows no boundaries. It’s a funny old business, and
in the scheme of things, it’s insignificant.
Shadows form as I pass the event horizon.
I'm on Dodge time now, where microseconds last for weeks, even months,
I fall in slow motion, as I reach out for a lifeline to the future.
Beyond the darkness, a voice calls out "Time, is riding over you."
But has time run out?
I turn and find that 33 assembled souls have followed me to the floating palace,
dirtied by their long journey.
And so, we, the few, the many, display the patience of angels and he works...on
through the night.
I can see a man who's blinkered and totally focused on the task in hand.
No project managers required, no bean counters, just pure music and honesty.
You could ask him a question, a bomb could drop, aliens could surf naked down
the Thames and he'd say "Hmm, that's nice, cheers."
Having the tunnel vision and sheer concentration is one thing, but the foresight
that's needed in this line of work...
Well, no one has that, not in any significant amounts.
Do you believe in coincidence?
Do any of us?
Sometimes, she reaches back for me, but I ignore her attempts to pull me in.
I know it could all be totally different to any preconceived ideas.
I know it could be so much better.
She knows it, too.
She knows how it will all turn out,
And in a blinding flash, I see the outcome.
I'm not afraid any more.
I may see through your hands, the warmest heat I searched ages ago.
I may see, I may listen, I may feel your endless sighs,
I may stare, I may dare, dare to share some of my stars.
I may pray, I may say, keep the whispers of your smile.
I may tear apart myself just to keep you by my side
and I may shout and I may cry, I must break the entire sky,
Just to let you know my man, I'll give myself to you this time.
Trying to float and bubble away (as one would).
But, it's just not happening,
No so much a writer's block, more a protesting mind.
You'd probably get more sense out of Shaun Ryder right now.
Hal-le-lujah...Hal-le-lujah...Hallelujah,
Hallelujah.
JEDI: You NEED this to survive. Without it your life would hold no meaning for
you, or others around you.. You would become disformed and hideous.., and loose
all your previouly cherished possesions...family members would die..no one would
remember you.. knowledge would be lost.. Citys would crumble...fire would fall
from the heavens..and finally, the world would be sucked into a big black
hole...
YNYS: I wanna describe to you those ten or eleven months out of every year, all
my life. It's the same feeling every year. I only think of it now, because I'll
be moving away from it soon.
Seems like you've always just come from the pool,
half-naked, usually sitting on a towel, most often sprayed with water to counter
act the heat. Soda or ice cream inevitably in one hand. You could be six or
sixty years-old in that state, you just don't give a damn 'bout no one else's
opinions, because the brighter and stronger the sun hits you, you get all tingly
and sleepy. I don't care for emotion anymore. I am living meditation.
That's my childhood, my young adulthood, and now...well, whatever comes between
second childhood and mere oblivion!
GLDN74: I arrived under sniper fire,
I stayed hidden in the trench,
Until it was safe to stick my head up,
And fight for the future.
The enemy fired everything they had at me,
The oh so powerful weapons of lies and hypocrisy,
But they missed everytime.
And then we look to the real battle, the middle east.
I'm torn between disgust at the actions of both sides and pride in the sight of
seeing my aircraft in action.
I remember laughing when I flew the simulator at work,
but now it's not so funny.
To think, his side could push a button and the world could end
And I'd be gone in sixty seconds.
YNYS: (from a letter to meri Premavatar)…There is no inside and outside, no
maya or reality, this is all just a way of feebly communicating truth…You
understand Jas, we're not this age, we aren't this color, we aren't male or
female, intelligent or stupid.
GLDN74:
Blatantly ripping off Guy Chambers lyrics...
I'm an honorary Sean Connery
'Born '74, there's only one of me
Single handedly raising 'Mills economy
Aint no chance of Sony Music dropping me
Kate be asking 'Do I care for soddomy'
I don't know, yeah probably,
I be looking for Kim Khahn monogomy,
I want her to dress up just like Billy Connolly,
But for now, I'm down for muff-mythology,
Grab your binoculars,
Come follow me... (this
one ends here)
---I'm bored
I'm the chairman of the board
Past consciousness again!
GOVINDA:
I betrayed my fate
I betrayed my life
I betrayed myself
I sank in the same ocean I died
I fell in the same hole I lyed
I didn't want to remember
I didn't want to turn back
I
didn't want you to be here again
like a ghost, like a shadow in the dark
I betrayed my faith
I
betrayed my mind
I betreyed
I betrayed
I betrayed...
I just turned back.
GLDN74: I don't deserve this
I don't qualify for this love
I used to need a remedy
But it's all so clear now
"You're the sun...and as you shine on me, I feel free"
Funny how those lyrics meant something when I was five years old
And now they mean so much more.
YNYS:
go outside and sulya set me free
go outside and sulya touches me
jaoon ke bahaar aur sulya bulyaa (go outside and Sulya calls)
GLDN74:
Played up to be some sort Crimson Idol,
Made out to be more than who I really am
I don't own a chariot
I don't own any armour
I don't own a sword
Actually, come to think of it, I've got them all,
Maybe it is true.
YNYS: They ask U.S. to tell the difference between success/failure and mistakes.
"Somalia was a mistake", so I guess Desert Storm was a success? This
place is doing no good, at home we're a mess and outside we're killing more than
we're saving. I refuse to raise my children here. That, Mr. President, is why
I'm leaving.